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Ah the good old days. Way back in distant past of 2019 – while we were all still blissfully working away in the ‘old’ normal – often the biggest problem HR had to contend with in a given day was getting snowed under in a blizzard of résumés.

In honour of those simpler times, here’s a list of some of the world’s worst CV gaffes received by employers. Examples come courtesy of Reddit.

#1 To ‘thieve’ or not to ‘thieve’
Reddit user @mooroi revealed that they once had a cook apply with: “Good at helping my co-workers thieve whilst the restaurant is at its busiest.” While the user conceded they think he meant ‘thrive’ rather than ‘thieve’, it’s a howler that could have cost the budding chef the job opportunity.

#2 Emergency contact details
Reddit user @Hyrule_NoPizza recalled that the applicant put ‘911’ as their emergency contact – as opposed to the more conventional parent, spouse, partner or sibling.

#3 Not so short and not so sweet
Reddit user @chud_munson recollected interviewing a job applicant who produced an 18-page CV. “It just had every technology he had ever heard of. He didn’t know anything about any of them,” they concluded.

#4 Mastery of the hula hoop
Reddit user @DelayofGame123 recalled a candidate who listed ‘hula hooping’ as a skill. They added: “The person also wrote, ‘I know it’s not conventional to list hula hooping as a skill, but it took a long time to master, and I thought it demonstrated my dedication’.”

#5 Easy-peasy
After asking the applicant why they wanted to work for the organisation and what appealed to them about the role, user @Dotsmom said the candidate remarked: “It looks like an easy job”.

Parts of this article first appeared on the HR Grapevine website.